Crash Test Dummies

Wake up before you and hide the Golden books in the night stand,
wondering when exactly the Swiss
extract themselves from bed to turn the waterfalls back on.
Take me to the mountains in an elevator
and down a wooden slide requiring straddling, not sitting,
so we can lick the same salt as everyone else,
turned black with bacteria and dirty hand-oil;
why weren’t we afraid of diseases?

You’ll know where I am by my red bucket hat,
bobbing in the waves at a safe distance
between intermittent construction projects
requiring mainly sand and water,
with a splash of aesthetic spacing and height
and a touch of structural integrity know-how.
By the way, the Leaning Tower of Pizza is 1) not edible, and 2) did not have rails in the late eighties.

Step on a giant stick and it won’t stay stationary;
most likely it will jump up and gouge my leg,
but no matter—there are are bazillion ladybugs to catch in
little handines that pudgily encase them until they’re
deposited in a flat-red Ford Escort with squared edges.
Learn not to smear nasal excretions on walls, or
Miss Audrey will yell, “You know bedderendat!”
It’s okay though, she still loves me and I’m the only one
she calls her daughter,
and for a few years I’m black by day.

The middle of the toast is best, all juicy with butter.
I’ll eat the crusts to make you happy and
feel like a good mother.
Just promise me we can get ice cream sandwiches from 
the machine that only sells ice cream sandwiches 
so they’re sure not to run out.

Ich bin nicht tot!

It's been forever since I've done anything on here, and it's not because I'm dead. Because I'm not. Obviously.

This is my third term straight taking 16 credit hours and working (on average) 30 hours per week. The first term wasn't so bad, since I was completely gung-ho about returning to school, but the second was the cause to a slight crack in my sanity, and now in the third...let's just say that if I don't get a break soon, the little brothers in "The Wedding Singer" will be taunting me with, "Cuckoo's nest! Cuckoo's nest!"

I have a paper I need to rewrite this evening (yes, I've had it for a week, and yes, I'm waiting till the last minute and instead writing on here), but of course have all fare of other things that need to get done. Dinner, for instance. Food would be good. Kyle and I are trying our best to behave when it comes to healthy foods and healthy portions (a mess-load of pasta at 9:30 p.m. when I get home from work is not conducive to either energy levels or weight management). And there's laundry. Not to mention the general state of the house. We have a magnet at work that says, "A clean house represents an unfulfilled life" (or something to that extent). I think I need this magnet. But I would sure like the full life and a clean house. Oh, one of these days...when I only have work to worry about, rather than work and school.

I feel like I need some sort of outlet for all the things I want to say, and my busy schedule simply doesn't allow it right now. It also doesn't help that we're now Netflix-Wii addicts (Netflix movies streamed to your TV via the Wii) and Kyle's started watching "Lost" for the first time, and I feel like I have to experience it all over again with him. Ha.

I'd better get back to the kitchen! My man was kind enough to offer to run to Ray's and grab me a replacement Lambic for the one I dropped in the street while unloading groceries from my car. It was a very sad experience and one a lover of Lambic should never have to experience.

The better (because it's homemade) Lofthouse cookie

The One and I both share a sad affinity for those lofty, cakey, heavily frosted cookies that you find in a lot of grocery stores (typically Fred Meyer/Kroger/Tom Thumb--all the same company, of course) known as "Lofthouse" cookies. A few months ago, I began my search for a recipe for these sweetened pieces of heaven, since my addiction at $5 a carton (with only ten cookies) became more expensive than my annual purchase of Thin Mints from green and brown-clad little girls who bat their eyes and confidently tell (not ask) me that I need to buy some Girl Scout cookies.*

At any rate, I ended up at RecipeZaar.com (*edit: now Food.com), and found what seemed to be a promising copycat recipe. One problem: I thought I had all the ingredients until I looked in my flour canister and realized I only had about half what the recipe called for. Since it was too late to halve the recipe, I substituted white All-Purpose flour with wheat flour. They turned out okay, and while I found that they tasted better a day after you make them, the wheat wasn't doing it for Kyle or me, and I used store-bought frosting, which just wasn't the same either.

Yesterday I made them again, with a few tweaks. Plus I found a fail-safe frosting recipe (which most bakers probably know off the tops of their heads anyway), which I made a few minor changes to as well. The resulting cookies are in short, amazing. Here are my altered recipes, and I hope that everyone tries these cookies and reports back to me. Go!

The Better Lofthouse Cookie

Ingredients:

1. 1 cup butter
2. 2 cups sugar
3. 3 eggs
4. 1 tsp vanilla extract
5. 1 tsp almond extract
6. 1 tsp baking powder
7. 1 1/2 cups sour cream
   
8. 5-6 cups flour (until desired consistency for rolling)

Directions:

1. Cream together butter and sugar.
2. Beat in eggs, sour cream, vanilla extract, and almond extract.
3. Combine the baking powder and 5 cups of flour separate bowl than your mixing bowl.
   
4. Mix in dry ingredients slowly.
5. Cover and refrigerate 6-8 hours (or overnight).
6. Preheat oven to 400'.
7. Roll out dough to a 1/4 to 3/8 inch thickness using a generous amount of flour.
8. Cut out shapes and bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 8-10 minutes.
9. Cool on wire rack.
10. Frost and decorate as desired.

And don't forget the frosting...



Lofthouse Cookie Frosting

Ingredients:

1. 4 cups confectioner's sugar
2. 1/2 cup plus 1 T butter
3. 5 tablespoons milk
4. 1 tsp almond extract (or vanilla, whichever you prefer)
5. food coloring and/or sprinkles (if desired)

Directions:

1. In a mixing bowl, cream together the confectioners' sugar and shortening until smooth.
2. Gradually mix in the milk and vanilla with an electric mixer until smooth and stiff, about 5 minutes.
3. Color with food coloring if desired.
4. Frost cookies (don't skimp on the frosting--Lofthouse cookies' creators are heavy-handed with the frosting).
5. Add sprinkles if desired.

Watch out! These cookies are addicting!















*Girl Scout cookies are really quite the best example of inflation. I remember when I was a Girl Scout and cookies were $2.50 per box. When did they rocket up to $5???

The look that says, "You disgust me."

At least, that's what I think of when his upper lip gets stuck on his teeth like that. Sometimes it's weird to think of me as a "dog owner." I don't compare myself to the nutters in "Best in Show" by any means, and nor do I talk of my dog like he's my child. I do feel protective of him though, and I do think he has a personality. Here, for instance, he's saying, "Now why aren't you down here playing with me? Pah! Do you honestly think I enjoy mutilating hand-knit wool socks by myself?"

Yes, Graham, yes I do.

It's a bit of a trip to look at pictures of him from the summer and see how much he's grown. Not taller, but more in the girth department. He's not a chunky dog, by any means, but he's a far cry now from the lean puppy who chewed an entire t-bone into submission (and when I say t-bone, I don't mean I gave him a steak--I mean he actually ate a bone) in Chuck and Ginger's backyard this past summer.

Today he's nine months old and looking more like a grown-up. Sometimes I think having a dog isn't worth the effort. But then he does something completely goofy, and it's almost worth it. He's certainly no picnic though.

On an unrelated note, it's a shame I'm spending my last free weekend holed up in my room with a headache and sore shins watching "Doctor Who: Confidential." I take that back. Seeing Ood break-dancing is a joy forever.

Mooses! Meeses! I want my moose to lay golden eggs for Easter!

Time for more updates! We've had a bit of snow on the mountains--none on the ground yet, but it's forecast that we may be getting some on Friday. I'm excited, but I was goofy and left my snow boots in Texas. Anyway, here's a picture of Pioneer Peak from our backyard covered in snow.


Aaaand here are some flowers on the back deck. Larkspur, to be exact. I love these.

Also, I finally finished my sampler about a week ago. Since then, I've started on one of the same pattern but different colors for my mom. I really enjoy needlework, and have been ever since I picked it up January of this year. I'm also getting better, which is exciting, and as if this project weren't ambitious enough, I'm already thinking about designing my own stuff and creating away.


Aside from my crafting endeavors, I've recently been promoted at work. The store opens next week, and I've been there for a little over a month. Yesterday I was offered a supervisor position in the Jewelry department (I was in photo) after having interviewed for it last Wednesday. There's a lot for me to learn in a very short time, but the fact that I got promoted so quickly and they had me training cashiers for over a week after just barely going through the training myself makes it pretty clear that they're confident in my abilities.

I don't, however, think the photo supervisor is too happy. At first I thought it was just because he was losing me, but now I think it's a little bit of resentment as well. I now have the same position he does (different dept), and he's more than twice my age. I won't let his attitude toward me affect my work though, and I'm determined to set an example and remain above petty jealousies.

As if I don't have enough to do, I'm auditioning for "The Spitfire Grill" next Saturday. I figure, sure, I'll be busy if I get a part, but now's the time to do it, since I'm only taking one class. I more than likely won't have an opportunity to act next semester.

Anyway! I'm going to bum around in my bed, cross-stitch, and watch "Iron Man." Oooohhh what an exciting life I lead!

***OH! I almost forgot! I saw three moose just outside our front yard a few nights ago. One of the calves tried to go for our maple tree, but luckily Jim got some chicken wire around it, so the young moose fledgling's efforts were foiled! I have a video, but I sound like an idiot, so I'd rather not make that available to anyone and everyone. If, however, you'd like to see it, feel free to email me, and I'll send it to you. :]

Moses supposes his toeses are roses

I'm up to a lot and not much at the same time. I got hired only having been up here for two days at a brand new target opening about 15 miles from my parents' house. Not horribly exciting, but it is the first of two Targets to open up here in Alaska, so I suppose it's pretty epic for some.

Oh, my, goodness--you would not believe all the work that goes into a new store. Shelves, pegs, a bizillion price tags... I'm feeling quite buff after two weeks of manual labor. However, I think I've made a bit of a name for myself among my supervisors, and I'm always volunteering for extra shifts and to cross-train (my assigned area once the store opens is in the photo lab). I've had several of them ask me if I am a "Team Leader" (not the highest, but still a bit of a supervisor). When I tell them I'm not, they say, "Oh, you should be!" I checked into it, and unfortunately there are none of those positions left, but they know I want it now, and I'm just going to cross-train as much as possible so I know the store like the back of my hand. I'm told it's only a short matter of time before I move up. Oh yeah.

In other news, I'm taking one class. Not my choice. Right now though, money's kind of tight, and it's all we could afford. Next semester I'll be able to take a few more (12 hours? crossing fingers...), but for now I'm enjoying my studio weaving class. :-D

In my free time, I'm still working on my Hungarian sampler I started at the end of July. I'm on section 5 of 7. Check it out:

Tom Baker's Dozen

I know the picture quality isn't great (picture of a picture with my non-zooming cell phone camera), but the resemblance between my grandpa in the late 70s and the 4th Doctor is quite striking.

I was excited.

Another exciting thing my friend Ken informed me of is that I actually saw David Tennant in "Comedy of Errors" and "The Rivals" onstage in London in 2001. His sister is working on procuring a picture of my 15 year-old self mock-licking his face on a poster. Didn't even realize it! What a trip!