I love living with Manfriend, but oftentimes I do find myself missing living with my family, especially those days of my teen years in Germany when Brother 1 was between 5 and 8, and Brother 2 was 2 through 5 (Brother 2 is younger, and I assigned them chronological name-numbers based on the order in which they were born--see how I did that?). While I love Brother 1 and he had many a quote-worthy moment, Brother 2 was a plethora of awkward and vulgar utterances that are coming into Internet publication now because I feel, as wiser Older Sister, that he is old enough now to be a little embarrassed but more proud of the tongue that got him into quite a bit of trouble.
Brother 2 went to Babysitter's house during the day on base. Let it be known that Babysitter is a wonderful woman and loved Brother 2 almost like he was her own (I later found when I taught pre-K that I fell in love with the 4 year-old who always got into trouble, most likely due to the strong resemblance between him and Brother 2). So, rather than be too hard on him for his gems of vulgarity and lack of a verbal filter, she shared his most shining moments with Mother, who always took them very well (she had to--she was in uniform).
One day, little Ellie came to Babysitter's with some gnarly scratches on her face.
Babysitter: How did Ellie get those scratches?
Ellie's Dad: Oh, she grabbed the dog's private parts and he turned around and bit her.
(Brother 2 saunters over, hands on hips)
Brother 2: Ellie, was you trying to have SEX with a dog?
Like I said, a gem.
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